Nicola Kirk: Author and Collector of Paranormal Stories and Other Strange Encounters

As promised, here’s part two of  ‘But I Was Alive At The Time’:


I’d been looking forward to writing a paper on the life of a Victorian maid but I was used to being bullied into doing what Colette wanted.  I suppose, deep down, I didn’t really mind because Colette’s ideas usually produced good results, and as long as I got the grades I wanted, that was fine with me.

“I knew you’d see it my way.”  Colette grinned at me with her perfect smile.  “So, who’s going to be the dead person?”

Maria and I stared at her, aghast.

“Dead person?” Maria echoed.

“Well, we’re going to need someone to bury and test these ideas out on, aren’t we?”

Bury?  What, like underground?” Maria croaked.  “Is that really necessary, Colette?”  I could see in her face that she had already decided there was no way we were going to bury her.  I shuddered at the idea.  “Can’t we just pretend we’ve been buried?  We could lay in a box on the floor or… or something?”

“Hey, this needs to be authentic!” snapped Colette, rounding on us.  “It’ll give us extra marks.”

“Well, I don’t want to be buried!” Maria told her, her voice rising in panic.  “No way!”

“Neither do I,” I added quickly.  Colette gave each of us an icy glare.

“Well, thanks a lot for nothing you two,” she said.

“Why can’t you be the one to get buried?” I demanded.

“Because,” Colette replied, desperately searching for a reason, “because I suffer from claustrophobia.  I’d have a panic attack if you buried me.  Come on,” she coaxed us,  “do yourselves a favour and just do it.  It’s not like you’re going to be underground for long.  It’ll be just long enough to carry out the experiments and then that will be it, you’ll get out straight after.  It’s not like you’re going to be six foot under, only a couple of feet.”  Maria and I looked at each other, unconvinced.  “Oh, come on!” Colette said sharply.  “You two look as if I’ve asked you to donate your bodies to science while you’re still breathing!”

“Yeah, but being buried underground…” I complained.  “I don’t like it.”

“It’s not as if we’re going to leave you there, is it? Colette wheedled.    She realised she wasn’t getting anywhere and decided to try another tack that she knew would guarantee results. “It’s so original, we’re bound to get an excellent mark for the paper.”

“You know how to work me, don’t you?” I sighed.  Colette beamed at me, fully aware that the argument was won.

* * *

“So which one of you is it going to be?”

Colette had driven us out to the edge of the woods and had stood by while Maria and I dug a whole three feet deep in complete silence.  She said she had a bad back and couldn’t help.  Maria and I were hot, sweaty and aching by the time we’d finished.  I’d wanted to go home as soon as we’d entered the woods.  Something didn’t feel right.  Neither of us answered Colette.  She’d bought a man-sized, chipboard box along with her.  I’d felt sick when I’d seen it lying in the back of the car, the back seats pushed forward to accommodate it.  I didn’t want to ask where she had got it.  Where on earth did you just ‘happen’ to get something like that from anyway?

Maria and I climbed out of the hole.  I shuddered as I stood on the edge of the hole and looked down into its depths.  Colette grabbed one end of the box and instructed Maria to take the other.  Between the two of them they lowered it into the hole.

Huh. Colette’s back didn’t seem to be hurting her now, I noticed.

“Well?” pressed Colette as she stood back from the grave, dusting herself off.  I glared at her.  We all knew her ‘claustrophobia’ was a myth but… well, neither Maria nor I had the guts to challenge her.  Maria looked at the box at the bottom of the grave.

“I… I don’t think I can do it,” she muttered.  I was about to argue when I saw her eyes filling with tears.  Oh God, I hated it when she cried.

“Oh, for goodness sake, you two!” I cried, exasperated.  Colette looked at me with a raised eyebrow.  “I’ll do it, okay?  I’ll do it!”

“Great,” Colette nodded.  “Get in the box, then.”  I looked down at the grave, because that’s what it was, and took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I agreed reluctantly.  “But you swear on your lives that you will get me out of there straight after.  None of your messing about or stupid games, all right?”

Maria nodded her head furiously.  Colette just looked at me.  “All right, Colette?”

She let out a hiss of annoyance and threw her hands in the air as if I was the one being unreasonable.

“Of course! Now just get in!”  I lowered myself down from the edge of the grave, suddenly feeling very short as I looked up at Colette and Maria.  Maria did not look at all happy.  Colette heaved the lid of the box up and pointed to the hole in it which was at face level.

“Right, see this hole?  That’s where this pipe’s going to go, yes?  Now, I have a McDonald’s meal in the boot of the car – it’s probably a bit cold now but never mind – and we’re going to feed it down the pipe to you to see how much you manage to eat and how much you manage to wear.” I managed a small smile as I lay down in the box.

“Don’t you dare leave me in here for a joke,” I reminder her.  Colette was the sort of person who’d find it funny to pretend to drive off and leave me there.  I promised myself I’d bloody kill her if she tried anything of the sort.

“Blah, blah, blah,” she teased, waving her hand dismissively.  “Just lie down and play dead.”  I pursed my lips and lay down in the box.   “Grab the other end of the lid, Maria,” Colette instructed.  They lowered the lid down on top of me and everything went quiet.  It wasn’t until I heard the clods of dirt raining down on the lid of my coffin that I realised just how much I didn’t want to do this.  The noise from outside became more and more muffled.

“Everything okay in there?” I heard Maria call down the plastic tube after what felt like hours, but had probably only been a couple of minutes.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind coming out now,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Don’t be such a chicken!” I heard Colette call.  “Now, are you ready for your Big Mac with extra cheese?  The drink might be a bit of a problem,” her voice was closer now.  Then I heard Maria shriek Colette’s name and there was silence.

“Colette?” I called, wondering what on earth was going on.  She didn’t reply.

“Maria!” I called a little louder.  I braced my hands against the roof of my coffin and gave it a shove.  It wouldn’t move.  I had about two feet of earth pressing down on top of me.  I hadn’t realised it would be so heavy.  “Colette!” I shouted, my voice sounded deafening in the tiny space.  Faintly I heard a car door slam and an engine start.

“Maria! Colette!  Don’t you dare mess about!  Let me outNow!” The last word was a scream as I thumped my hands against the lid. I squinted as bits of dust from the roughly cut wood floated down into my eyes.  “Colette!”  I screamed again.

I tried to calm my breathing as I realised I was getting myself into a state.  It was becoming unbearably hot inside the coffin.  The air wafting down the tube by my face wasn’t doing a thing to help.  “Colette!  You bitch!  You wait until I get out of here! Colette!”  I strained to hear them giggling over the thumping of my heart, but I couldn’t hear a thing.  I beat against the lid of the coffin, expecting to hear them laughing as they began to dig me up again.  But I heard nothing.  Nothing but the blood rushing in my ears.

Being buried when you’re dead should be a peaceful experience.  But I was alive at the time.


©Nicola Kirk and 2010

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