I See Dead People!
On Friday 15th October, I arrived at 7pm with my husband and Sally, the museum curator, arrived with her other half, Keith, and a friend, Kelly. Flossie from Almost Haunted, looked a little horrified that there were so many of us. Perhaps she thought we were going to run riot around the museum and steal their digital cameras. As it goes, I thought we were all very well behaved, quietly settling down in one corner of the museum with some of Sally’s best coffee (I love the chewable quality of Coffee Mate) while Almost Haunted set up their equipment. Then came… ‘the talk’.
One of the first things that Flossie came out with is that we should not, under any circumstances, touch the medium (i.e. her). Apparently doing so would result in ‘a smack in the mouth’. I glanced around at my husband and friends and was pleased to see that no one from our little group looked remotely interested in molesting the medium. I thought back to various programmes of ‘Most Haunted’ where mediums who were well away with the faeries were frequently caught up in bear hugs by one of their team members whilst people shouted ‘come forward! Come forward!‘ at them. Their team members always managed to walk away with all their teeth after touching the medium, I wondered why Flossie was so different…
Flossie also insisted that there was to be no whispering (as apparently hearing whispering on tape caused their sound technician no end of orgasms until he discovered that it wasn’t the spirit world trying to get into contact but people discussing a film they’d been to see). It’s very difficult not to whisper in a museum, especially under those circumstances, because your initial reaction is to keep your voice down .
Dowsing Rods: No Batteries Required…Thank Goodness
Flossie then asked us if we minded if she cast a circle of protection around us all – I thought it was rather nice of her to ask first, rather than just going ahead and doing it (not that we would have known either way). While I was admiring the latest additions to Sally’s museum displays, out came the dowsing rods. Flossie’s dowsing rods were traditional bits of wire bent over at right angles, but instead of just holding them in her hands, she had little loose-fitting sleeves over the handles which meant the slightest movement made them swing around with carefree abandon. Watching Flossie’s hands, I was a little bemused to see that she was moving her hands back and forth an awful lot, the end result being that the dowsing rods were flying around like helicopter blades. She moved over to where I was sitting and declared that my energy was causing some disturbance to her readings because I was pregnant and was carrying a ‘new soul’ (and yes, being 8 months pregnant at the time, this was something I and everyone else was well aware of; no news from the paranormal world was coming through there). The base line tests were quite interesting to watch too, especially when there was a buzz of excitement as an EMF meter began to click away excitedly. Was something trying to manifest? No – the technician was standing in front of a television which was turned on. Then there was a problem with the voice recorder. Strangely enough, even with fresh batteries it didn’t want to work… perhaps a spirit was draining the energy!? Oh, no, wait a moment… they’d put the batteries in back to front. Oh my…
When the lights were turned out for the first vigil, Flossie said that she could sense two children in the museum, one of whom was rather mischievous. One child was quickly forgotten about while Flossie focussed on the naughty child. His name was apparently Peter or Paul (or Percy or Boris – Heaven only knows what happened to Robert: see part 1 of this post) and he had died of consumption when he was seven years old. Unfortunately, Peter/Paul wasn’t in the mood to stop for a chat; he quickly got bored and ‘wandered off’. Flossie said that she could see some orbs around me (presumably these ones were pretty glow in the dark ones that she alone was able to see) and she said I wasn’t to be frightened, they were only curious because… I was pregnant. This would be a reoccurring theme for the evening: “The spirits are angry/don’t want to talk to me/have all gone on strike because… Nicola is pregnant!”
Once the vigil in the museum was finished, we went for a brief walk around the grounds where there were some old buildings where ‘people of importance’ used to live before they turned the buildings into offices. The most interesting thing we came across was a fat old hedgehog ambling across the lawns. Flossie said she could see, in her mind’s eye, that there had been some sort of mini riot beneath an archway just across from where we were standing. She said that she could see an old carriage and a man wearing evening dress. He was most upset over the fact that he had to get out of the carriage to sort out the problem. The people that Flossie saw involved in the riot were apparently all sporting ‘big moustaches’ and her description reminded me of a posh rugby scrum. As the evening progressed, I couldn’t help but think Flossie was just coming out with things that couldn’t really be checked up on too easily and were rather generalised.
The New Must Have: Sod iPhones – Get A Red Indian Spirit Guide!
When we were back indoors, I asked Flossie about her psychic abilities. I went for the politely curious approach, rather successfully, I thought, masking my scepticism. I asked if she was able to turn her psychicness on and off at will – how did it work for her? She said that she had guides who helped her, but she only spoke with them on her terms. I desperately wanted to ask if one of her guides was a red Indian (well, every medium worth their salt seems to have one these days) but I resisted the temptation. Flossie said that her guides weren’t allowed to hassle her night and day and they were most definitely not allowed in the bathroom.
Over at ‘the Store’, Flossie said Room 1 and the room directly above that, Room 5, left her feeling nauseous and she didn’t like them. Upstairs in Room 5, we left Almost Haunted to do their investigating and when they were finished I asked Flossie what she had found. She said that she was in touch with a spirit called Edward Banks who was 48. Flossie said Edward looked older than his years and had greying hair, a pinched face and wore round glasses. He had allegedly worked for the police and had died around 1910 but he didn’t want to tell her what he had died of, for some reason. She said that he had a terrible stutter which made communication rather difficult and that he dealt with accounts and figures and was autistic. She said when he was asked too many questions he began to get distressed and would rock back and forth. “It’s like upsetting a seven-year old,” Flossie declared, “I don’t like doing it.”
Pride of the Police Force:
Edward Banks, We Salute You!
Flossie said Edward was on a ‘loop’, constantly doing his accounts. A few things struck me as odd with this information. Firstly, it seems highly doubtful that back in the 1900s the police would have employed someone with autism to do their accounts work. Seeing as the police have always been rather strict about the health of their employees, it didn’t seem feasible. The other thing I wondered was, if Edward was autistic, wouldn’t his peers have had him forcibly installed in an institution somewhere – wouldn’t they have classed Edward’s autism as a form of insanity? The other thing that didn’t ring true was when I asked Sally how long the store had been on the site, she advised me that the house had only been built in the 1920s, a decade after Edward had apparently died, and that the only thing that was there before then was gravel pits. Also, the house had never been used as an office and where Edward was apparently sitting at his desk had only ever been someone’s bedroom before the house became a store for artefacts. It appeared that Flossie’s ‘spook radar’ was also in need of a change of batteries… Anyway, Almost Haunted locked off a camera near the desk and left it to film for a bit.
Bare Fist Fighter: Was Biff Just A Big Pussy?
So. Room 1 of the store. This is apparently where all the fun took place. Flossie said she didn’t want me to go into Room 1 whilst they conducted their experiments (despite the fact I’ve been in there before) because there was the spirit of a particularly nasty individual in there who had a nickname that sounded like ‘Buster’ or ‘Biff’ (or Bill or James or Derek…). She said he was a bully and always tried to upset women although he was a bit more wary around the men, especially if there were a few of them. Flossie’s concern was rather touching, although I would have preferred it if I could have just sat down in the corner somewhere and observed the experiment like everyone else. After all, if a spook was that desperate to come and get me in particular, I’m sure there would be nothing to stop him leaving Room 1 if he wanted to. Flossie said the mean spirit was some sort of street fighter from the 1890’s and had a nose that had been broken on many an occasion. He had apparently been jailed for getting into a fight; he had punched a man who had fallen over, hit his head and died.
My Precious! – Will Biff Ever Find His Ring?
Flossie told me that ‘Biff’ wore a distinctive gold ring with a sort of skull and crossbones motif on it. Later she described it as having a flat face to it and then it was more like a sovereign ring or was perhaps something that a Hell’s Angel would wear. I soon began to lose count of how many different types of rings ‘Biff’ was supposedly in possession of. The ring, Flossie declared, would have left a distinct impression on his victim’s faces. She said ‘Biff’ was a big chap with next to no teeth and looked as if he’d had a hard life. Apparently the children who haunted the museum were scared off by him and the spirit liked to stand behind women and other lone individuals and give them a ‘spiritual beating’, until they were left with headaches and a general feeling of poor health. So, I stood out in the hallway to keep Flossie happy as she said she wouldn’t be able to protect me from ‘Biff’ if he started getting feisty.
DJ Death: It’s Not A Ghost – It’s A Bloody DJ!
During their investigation of Room 1, Almost Haunted brought out a detuned radio as part of a new experiment. Fortunately I’ve seen this sort of thing before so I knew what they were up to. I got the impression that they were trying to keep this new experiment top secret for some reason. They set the radio so it constantly flicked through the various radio stations from one end of the gauge to the other, picking up snippets of people talking, and then… they start asking questions. I understand that the idea of the detuned radio is that the spirit trying to make contact will pick words out from radio broadcasts that make an appropriate answer, however some people are more of the opinion that it is the spirit itself talking through the radio. You have to listen really hard because of the static and I can’t help but think people generally hear what they want to hear with this sort of experiment. Anyway, Almost Haunted didn’t have long to wait until they started getting responses from someone they called ‘William’. Perhaps this was ‘Biff’s’ real name. Here’s how the questioning went (where I haven’t written anything after the question means there was no response – at least not a recognisable one):
Q. Are you being vain?
A. Might be.
Q. How did you die?
Q. Are you a bad man?
Q. Tell me about the ring.
Q. Have you hurt anyone?
Q. Who took your ring? (A faint response but we couldn’t hear.)
Almost Haunted then decided to change the radio setting from FM to AM instead to see if that made a difference. They tried again:
Q. Do you have a problem with women? You seem to frighten women.
Q. Who took the ring? I know you don’t want to talk. Did they take the ring after they hung you?
Flossie then told us that William/Biff was using offensive language and that the ring was somewhere in the store house. The questioning continued:
Q. Are you from Scotland?
Q. Where are you from?
Almost Haunted thought they heard the word ‘Perth’ in amongst the static but someone else in the group said they heard ‘no’ instead. One of the members of Almost Haunted said he kept hearing the same voice coming through on the radio. This comment made me close my eyes and count to ten. I found it hard to believe that Almost Haunted couldn’t see that as the radio was constantly flicking through the same radio stations over and over again, they would of course be picking up the same DJs over and over again. I sighed and continued to listen in…
Q. William, were in Scotland are you from?
Q. (From Flossie) Why are you calling the boys Jessies?
Q. What ring are you here for?
Q. Is the ring connected to the crime?
Q. Who was killed?
Q. How many people were killed?
Flossie declared that ‘William’ had been hung for murder although these days it would be classed as manslaughter because the person he had attacked had fallen, hit their head and died.
Q. What is your nickname? Biff, Buff, Biffer?
Flossie told us that ‘Biff’/ William was mainly in the store at night looking for his ring and that if they were to leave his ring out one night, it wouldn’t be there the next morning. Eventually Flossie knocked the session on the head saying that William was horrid and to just leave him alone. Someone said they heard the word ‘sure’ come through on the detuned radio at that point. The rest of us could make nothing much out of the roar of static.
“I’m getting a surname,” Flossie said mysteriously just as she was about to leave the room. “Possibly be McGrowly.” McGrowly? What, really? How Scottish and relevant to William’s nasty personality…
Later that night I asked Sally what she had thought of the experiment. She said that no items of jewellery whatsoever were kept in the store. She said there were a few knuckledusters there and harboured suspicions that Flossie had seen the display in the museum where Sally had laid out some of the more interesting looking knuckledusters and that may well have been what Flossie was trying to describe. Whether Flossie had subconsciously noticed these knuckledusters in the museum or not is difficult to say. Perhaps she assumed that because there were some in the museum there were more kept in the store and had hoped Sally might have made the connection.
Upstairs in Room 5, Almost Haunted tried a similar experiment with the lights off (of course). Once again, I stood out on the landing and listened, scribbling copious notes as I did so. Flossie then began to talk to Edward Banks, the autistic spirit. Once again, she said that he was in a loop, sitting at his desk doing his accounts work.
“It’s figures all the time with him,” she said with a scowl. “He doesn’t realise he’s dead and that he was killed in an accident.” She asked Sally if she would try and ask Edward some questions while the detuned radio fizzled and squeaked away to itself:
Q. How did you die?
Q. Why are you still here?
Q. Do you know you are dead?
A. He knows.
Flossie pounced on those two garbled words with relish.
“Having worked with some autistic people, they sometimes refer to themselves in the third person,” she told us smugly. “Edward is quite sweet but he’s getting agitated. He’s started rocking.” Again, I found myself asking why the police would have employed someone so mentally unstable? The medium said Edward was always sitting at his desk in his time, and there was also another desk and an armchair in the room with him, too. Someone commented that they were getting a different voice through on the detuned radio to the one they had downstairs – and, again, I found myself cringing at the fact that these people didn’t seem to realise they were just picking up different DJs.
Sally asked if Edward knew her and apparently Almost Haunted heard a faint ‘yes’ on the radio. The rest of us heard nothing but static.
Q. Are you aware of Sally? Are you aware of anyone else who comes here?
Q. Do you know Bob Smith (name changed)? (Apparently Bob visited the store on his own twice a week).
Q. Tell us what you do. Do you work for the police?
At this point Flossie decided it was time to leave Edward alone. She said she didn’t feel much in the other rooms. At this point, we were all starving and fortunately Almost Haunted decided it was a good time to wind up their investigations.
It will be interesting to hear what, if anything, they found on their recordings.
No, Really, I’m Sure It Is… Somewhere…
I have been in touch with Sally since this investigation. Sadly, nothing paranormal came to light after Almost Haunted went through the photographs they took, other than some of the faintest orbs you could imagine that had to be massively highlighted by the team – dust or spooks, the ‘great orb debate’ lives on. Personally, I can’t help but feel if you have to look that hard for the evidence, chances are it’s not there to begin with.
Flossie also confessed to Sally that she had a terrible memory – perhaps that’s the reason why the mischievous little boy from the museum had a few name changes – she couldn’t quite remember what she had named him during the pre-investigation.
Speaking of pre-investigations, I am not sure why Almost Haunted felt the need to do one. The sceptical side of me wonders if it just gave the team time to have a nose around, get an idea of what the place was all about, and then weave some suitable stories in preparation for the official investigation. Who knows?
Meanwhile, Sally and I will keep our eyes and ears peeled for any paranormal evidence at the museum… but we won’t be holding our breath.
©Nicola Kirk and http://www.nicolakirk.wordpress.com 2010