The Grim Reaper Cometh: Appearances Can Be Deceptive
As promised, here is the final part of Kenneth Bailey’s article. Sometimes there is just no getting away from Death’s peculiar sense of humour and Fate always seems keen to offer a helping hand to the terminally stupid …
“The founder of the famous American Detective Agency, Allan Pinkerton, was walking to work one morning when he bit his tongue. He later died of gangrene.
Mrs Vera Czermak of Prague learned that her husband was carrying on with another woman and decided to end it all. She leaped out of her third floor window in despair just as her husband was coming home from work. She landed right on top of him although she had no idea that he was there and ended up with minor injuries. Hubby, on the other hand, immediately joined the ‘odd innings’ club.
Constipation: Not for the faint of heart
In 1760, George II died of heart failure brought on by chronic constipation. He was sitting on his toilet trying to do something about it at the time. French President, Felix Faure, came to an untimely end in 1899 whilst trying out for the first time a specially designed ‘Sex Chair’. The records do not show who was the prime witness to this incident.
William Killian, an airline employee, was killed in Denver, Colorado, by a duffel bag. He was loading it into a plane when a revolver, which it contained, went off and killed him.
In conclusion, there are two sides to every coin, and there are those who would like to join the ‘club’, but just don’t seem to be able to manage it. Take for instance Yugoslavian Bank Clerk, Jovo Lucic. When he was jilted by his girlfriend in Belgrade, he too decided to end it all. He stole a car with the intention of crashing it into a tree, but it broke down. He stole another, but lacked the courage to go too fast into the tree and just dented the bumper. He was subsequently charged with theft but while he was being interviewed he plunged a dagger into his chest. The quick actions of the police officers saved his life and when he had recovered he was sentenced to twelve months in prison. On the way to his cell he dived out of a window but landed in a snow drift which broke his fall. To date, poor old Jovo is still with us, but no doubt he’ll try again when he comes out.”
Stupidity: It Knows No Bounds…
Another rich source of unfortunate endings is the Fortean Times Magazine who regularly run a ‘Strange Deaths’ column – always worth a read. It would seem that for some people there is just no hiding from that inevitable sticky end whilst for others it remains tantalisingly out of reach…