Nicola Kirk: Author and Collector of Paranormal Stories and Other Strange Encounters

A Typical Day At Eon...

I deal with utility companies pretty much every day. It’s a necessary evil when you manage properties for a living. But there is one company I have encountered today who I would quite like to create a little hubble bubble, toil and trouble for:


Eon – somewhere in the depths of  one of your vast and oddly terrifying call centres, you have a representative lurking in your midst who is quite likely the love child of Vlad the Impaler and Pol Pot. Yes, okay, I’m annoyed, just sit back and let me vent for a bit, I’ll get over it.

Being the one who usually answers the phones in the office, I have a rule where sales people are concerned. If you can’t be nice to me, you’re not going to get through to anyone else. It’s just not going to happen. And thus, it was the case for this Eon-ite…

“Can I ask what your call is regarding?” I asked. When they want to be put through to a director, it’s generally a sales call.
“It’s regarding your insurance.”
“Okay, what sort of insurance?”
“Public liability.”
“Ah, right – I’m afraid we’ve only just renewed that.”
“This isn’t a sales call.” Liar, liar, bum’s on fire.
“It’s not? Okay, can I ask what the call is about?”
“Relationship building.”
“And would that be with a view to taking on our liability insurance?” Well, let’s face it, he’s not calling just to chat about the weather, is he? By this point I’m starting to frown. He’s treating me like I left my brain at home under the sofa this morning.
“No, it’s about relationship building.” This call is rapidly going nowhere…
“Look, I don’t want to waste your time…” I began.
“I don’t want to talk to you, I want to talk to the person in charge.” What? What did you just say in that horrid sneery tone of voice you obviously keep for people who won’t play your game? I blinked and Quiet Me boarded up her windows and doors again…
“Yeah? With an attitude like that, you’re not going to get through to anyone.”
“I’ll just call back later then,” he snarled. You want to try it mate…
Needless to say, the telephone handset was reunited very quickly with the receiver and I am just finishing my latest Voodoo dolly creation – I’m calling it Eon.


(c) Nicola Kirk 2012 and 2012



  1. Adriana Ryan said:

    LOL! Good for you for sticking to your guns (a silly American phrase)! 😀

    • Thanks Adriana. And in true Brit style, I did write a suitably narked letter to Eon’s complaint department. Because: THAT’S WHAT US BRITS DO WHEN WE ARE NARKED! 🙂

  2. This truly made me laugh out loud, especially with the great photos to go along with it. We have a local newspaper company that calls the house once every few months who I tried to be nice to- briefly. No thank you, we’re not interested. No thank you, if we read that news it’s online. No, we’re not interested. When the man asked if he could speak to my “husband who makes the financial decisions” I replied quickly that no, he couldn’t speak to my husband as I make the financial decisions, and furthermore I wanted to speak with his supervisor. He hung up and hasn’t called back since.

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